Walking the Gray: Why I’m Building This Mission (Even When It’s Hard)
When you start doing something new — something that challenges the norm — you’ll notice an odd thing happen.
You’ll get hate.
Not from strangers on the internet — that would be too easy.
It’s usually from your own profession.
The ones who nod politely but whisper, “Wah, expanding ah?”
That’s when you know you’re probably on the right path.
In Malaysia, we call it “silently kena hantam” — quiet hits from behind the back. 😅
A Mother, a Child, and a Hard Lesson
A mother once brought her young child to see me for mild eczema.
Friends had advised her to get an allergy test. It came back positive for milk.
The child had been drinking milk all along without issues.
But after hearing that result, the mother practiced strict avoidance.
The eczema didn’t improve.
One day at a party, her child cried for ice cream.
She gave in — “Avoidance didn’t help anyway,” she thought.
Moments later, the child developed a severe allergic reaction.
She looked at me with tears in her eyes — that mix of guilt, relief, and exhaustion only parents know.
“Doctor, I just want her to be normal again.”
We started milk immunotherapy.
Her child regained tolerance.
And she said something that struck me deeply:
“Doctor, I wish you could set up other clinics. It’s so far to come here, but I had no one else to turn to.”
That moment lit a fire in my heart.
There is a gap — in understanding, in access, in allergy care itself.
That’s why I’m building a team — of doctors, nurses, and staff — to meet that need.
The Cost of Building Something That Serves
People see expansion and assume profit.
What they don’t see is the price — in every sense.
Renovations that drain savings faster than teh tarik spills on a clinic counter.
Training staff from scratch, redoing protocols, chasing contractors who “promise tomorrow.”
Hiring the right doctors who share the same values — not just anyone with a scroll and stethoscope.
Setiap kali upgrade, mesti got drama. 😅
Making mistakes, learning, trying again.
Let’s be honest — it’s not easy.
There’s price control, immense regulatory hurdles, taxes, audits, and still… no guarantee of return.
So why do it?
Because some things are worth building — even when they don’t pay back right away.
Because it’s the only way to deliver care properly to the community.
The Envy and the Gray
What the Allergy Immunology Clinic provides are medically sound. Opinions may differ, but the rationale and science are there.
Medicine is often painted in black and white — what’s “proven,” what’s “unsafe.”
But the truth? Most of real-life medicine lives in the gray.
The gray is where science meets reality — that messy zone between “follow the guideline” and “help the human.”
It’s like the Jedi path of medicine: fear leads to rigidity, rigidity leads to harm. Compassion keeps us balanced.
Walking the gray doesn’t mean crossing into the absurd — it’s not like drinking bleach to cure COVID.
It means making thoughtful, evidence-guided decisions for patients who don’t fit neatly into textbook chapters.
Guiding Patients Through the Gray
Another patient came with complex immune issues. She had seen multiple specialists and was now turning to alternative therapies online — one program so expensive it would have drained her savings.
But she was desperate for answers.
This is where my role as a doctor comes in — not to dismiss, but to guide.
We coordinated her care properly with the right specialists.
No, there’s no “miracle” therapy yet — but there is always science, honesty, and humanity.
Do we abandon her just because medicine doesn’t have a clear answer yet?
Or do we walk the gray together — safely, responsibly, and with compassion?
That’s what our clinic stands for.
The Heretic, the Prophet, and the Journey
Medicine isn’t about being a hero. It’s about showing up — every single day — for people who need help navigating the unknown.
The gray isn’t glamorous. It’s sweaty, stressful, sometimes lonely. But it’s also where real change begins.
Cue dramatic music on the world’s smallest violin. 🎻
They’ll call you a heretic. Then a prophet. Then they’ll say, “We knew it all along.”
But that’s okay. Because we’re not here for applause — we’re here for patients.
Because if not us, then who?
Standing Firm
Criticism will come.
But we will stand firmly — grounded in science, guided by empathy, and aligned with our patients’ best interests.
This mission isn’t about ego.
It’s about access, understanding, and responsibility.
So if you’ve ever faced resistance for trying to do good differently — keep going.
The path of service is rarely easy, but it’s always worth it.
When you are getting the hate, that’s when you know you’re walking the right path.
